Faithful
God is faithful.
When life is difficult...
God is faithful.
When I feel like I'm drowning...
God is faithful.
When I feel there is no one...
God is faithful.
When I feel I have no strength...
God is faithful.
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."
Hebrews 10:23
I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I've been walking through this summer in a haze of one "bad" thing after another. I feel like I haven't been able to catch a breath. It feels like I've been swimming in the deep for far too long and each time I come up I can barely catch a breath. Just one more crashing wave and I just might get taken under. I don't want to go under. I WON'T go under! Because...God is faithful!
As I sit with my hand typing, trying to keep up with every swirling thought, all I can turn to is how good God is to us in the trying times. I don't feel like I've been stretched near as much as I have been these past few months. But God's faithfulness continues to remind me of whom I place my trust and where my help truly comes from! How good is He?! That even when life is stormy and we waiver in hope, that He doesn't give up hope on us!! For that I am thankful!!
So many have no clue what has been going on while others have very limited details. I haven't had the ability to keep up with all the changes AND keep everyone up to date on what's been going on. So for those few of you that I've chosen to share this page with, I'm doing so because I know without a shadow of a doubt that you will pray. You will pray for me and for my family. Because Lord knows right now we could use all the prayers we can get!
I will do my best to keep the details as minimal as possible but it's a lot. Starting with my dad this past March. He was hosptialized with congestive heart failure. He placed on a medication to help stop the fluid build-up that landed him there to begin with. He was sent home and initially was not adjusting well. He was very weak and quite sick. It was later determined that he was not taking the proper dose of his meds and once they were regulated he began to show signs of improvement. He began to have more strength and started to do more of the things he loves, such as coming to visit each of us. It must be noted that dad's health was NOT good. We were all concerned that we just might lose him. But we are so thankful to see that he did indeed surprise us all and made a turn for the better. Just as dad was turning around, my mom began feeling ill. She was taken to the doctor about mid-April to find that she was suffering from broncitis. She was placed on the proper meds to treat the infection and her breathing. However, over the course of the next month, she continued to feel at times like she couldn't breathe and it became very scary for her. This landed her in the ER on a couple of occasions only to be sent home with "nothing" being wrong. However, about mid-late May she was suffering again from an attack with not being able to breathe and went yet again to the ER. This time the doctors were concerned with a slight irregularity with her heart. They told her to follow up with an ECHO and see her primary care physician (PCP). After the ECHO it was determined that heart look "good" and "better than most her age". This was a huge sigh of relief and we went about trying to get back to "normal" for all of us. Then a week or so later one of my sisters noticed that both her ankles were red and they were swollen and tight all the way up her shins. This was concern enough for yet another trip back to the ER where it was determined that she had developed cellulitis in both legs. She was then admitted for an entire week with IV antibiotics. While in the hospital she had a few tests run to determine any other health issues that would need to be addressed. Including an MRI because of possible concerns with her liver (which came back negative). However, upon her discharge to a nursing home for rehab, she was given paperwork not just on the cellulitis but also congestive heart failure. Mind you no doctor came in and told her she was diagnosed with that. This sent all of us into a frenzy of trying to figure out what is going on.
Since mom's hospital stay for the cellulitis, she has had 5 weeks of rehab in a nursing home that, in my opinion, didn't do their job very well. But you don't know what it's like to have 5 Arkwright siblings all up in arms over their mama!! Some of those we had an issue with, stood a bit taller when they saw all 5 of us walk in together!! The looks on some of their faces were priceless!! Let's just say that our concerns about her care were addressed and she was even moved to a room with french doors out into a courtyard! This helped greatly as her previous room was dark and depressing. During the 5 weeks in rehab, mom struggled greatly with anxiety. At one point she told us all that if this is what the rest of her life was going to be, she just wanted to die. She even had a dream that she was dying and said that it was SO peaceful and that she just wanted to feel that peace again. That was so hard to hear! But God is faithful! For me, personally, I just prayed and asked God to give me peace with the outcome...whatever that may be. There were even times during her 5 weeks in rehab that I just asked the Lord to take her. It was so hard to see this once joyful, optimistic person turn to depression and sadness all in what seemed like overnight. I didn't want to see my mom struggle. I too just wanted her to be at peace. And I still do. But I'm thankful that she is still here!! During her time in rehab, she continued to have breathing issues as well as some other issues that we saw as part of the CHF. But it kept being brushed off by the staff. The struggle was real let me tell you! So many details that I'm even leaving out. But suffice to say that if it were not for us kids looking out for our mama, she may not be here.
During the time from March until now, there have been several other issues that have arose. Late spring my second to oldest sister fell down her basement steps and broke 3 ribs and punctured a lung. This led to a weeks stay in the hospital followed by another week in rehab. As of today she still hasn't been cleared for driving privileges outside of her hometown. We also found out during the time that my dad was in the hospital in March that our sweet dog Cara has cancer and wasn't given much time left to live (though we are happy to say she is still with us and responding well to meds shes been on). Then my brother and his wife began having some marital issues and separated. During this time my brother moved into my mom's apartment and got adjusted to just stay with her once she got out of rehab. Then during a family reunion, our 80 year old father sprung it on us that he was leaving his wife of 30 years. He packed up what he could, brought it to the reunion, and decided he'd find somewhere to stay. This led him to staying with my middle sister at her apartment. About 4 days into their separation my stepmom apologized to my dad and this got my dad thinking. He wanted to go back and work at their relationship. This caused discord amongst us siblings as some did not agree with his decision while others felt it was his decision and his alone to make. This led to a very heated argument with my dad and one of my siblings. A blow-up if you will. Lines were crossed and tempers flared. This spilled over into a confrontation with all 4 of my other siblings (I thankfully was not present for this). Emotions were just running at an all-time high. Then just two days after the confrontations took place my dad and sister were having breakfast when he began to fall ill. He looked pale according to my sister and couldn't speak well. She immediately called 911. Daddy was rushed to the hospital where he was hooked up to an IV and had some oxygen. Shortly after he was taken off the oxygen but put in a 24 observation because his kidney function was not where the doctors wanted to see it. Two days in the hospital, two rounds of IV, and he was able to go home. It was determined that he was severally dehydrated. Being off his normal routine he wasn't keeping track of how much he was drinking like he should. I am so thankful it wasn't more serious. THEN...just 4 days after dad was released and my mom got word she was being released to go home from rehab, another call in the middle of the night. My mom wasn't able to breathe AGAIN. The nursing home sent her by ambulance to the hospital where the doctors determined that she had built up fluid all in her abdomen that needed to be removed ASAP. Because it was a slow night in the ER the doctors when ahead with the procedure right then and there. They drained nearly 9...NINE liters of fluid of my mom's abdomen! That's more than 2 GALLONS of fluid!!! The doctors in the ER couldn't understand why this hadn't been done before! This is clearly been in her for a while. No wonder she couldn't breathe! She went home that night 20 POUNDS lighter!! Needless to say, this has sent us into investigative mode. We are finding that there are a LOT of slips and oversights by the doctors this whole time with mom's care. We got her charts and medical paperwork all released and one of my siblings has been slowly sorting through it all. We intend at some point to take up with the hospital their mistakes and oversights. But for now our sights are on getting mom settled.
She's been home for almost a week now with my brother living there. She is there morning and afternoon alone but seems to be doing much better at home than she was in rehab. She's getting around quite well and has therapy a few times a week. She has Life Alert that keeps her secure if she needs help during those hours and can't reach one of us kids. This time is just an interim period as she is on a waiting list to move into an assisted living. I have my doubts and questions as to whether this is whats best for her. She still needs so much care. Though I'm happy shes able to do more now that shes at home. But I don't know that it's wise for her to be alone so much. She still needs help with every day things like getting her shoes on or showering. This is where my faith comes in. I have to trust that God has all the answers. That He alone is control. We are all doing what we can to help but ultimately it's in His hands.
When life is difficult...
God is faithful.
When I feel like I'm drowning...
God is faithful.
When I feel there is no one...
God is faithful.
When I feel I have no strength...
God is faithful.
"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."
Hebrews 10:23
I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I've been walking through this summer in a haze of one "bad" thing after another. I feel like I haven't been able to catch a breath. It feels like I've been swimming in the deep for far too long and each time I come up I can barely catch a breath. Just one more crashing wave and I just might get taken under. I don't want to go under. I WON'T go under! Because...God is faithful!
As I sit with my hand typing, trying to keep up with every swirling thought, all I can turn to is how good God is to us in the trying times. I don't feel like I've been stretched near as much as I have been these past few months. But God's faithfulness continues to remind me of whom I place my trust and where my help truly comes from! How good is He?! That even when life is stormy and we waiver in hope, that He doesn't give up hope on us!! For that I am thankful!!
So many have no clue what has been going on while others have very limited details. I haven't had the ability to keep up with all the changes AND keep everyone up to date on what's been going on. So for those few of you that I've chosen to share this page with, I'm doing so because I know without a shadow of a doubt that you will pray. You will pray for me and for my family. Because Lord knows right now we could use all the prayers we can get!
I will do my best to keep the details as minimal as possible but it's a lot. Starting with my dad this past March. He was hosptialized with congestive heart failure. He placed on a medication to help stop the fluid build-up that landed him there to begin with. He was sent home and initially was not adjusting well. He was very weak and quite sick. It was later determined that he was not taking the proper dose of his meds and once they were regulated he began to show signs of improvement. He began to have more strength and started to do more of the things he loves, such as coming to visit each of us. It must be noted that dad's health was NOT good. We were all concerned that we just might lose him. But we are so thankful to see that he did indeed surprise us all and made a turn for the better. Just as dad was turning around, my mom began feeling ill. She was taken to the doctor about mid-April to find that she was suffering from broncitis. She was placed on the proper meds to treat the infection and her breathing. However, over the course of the next month, she continued to feel at times like she couldn't breathe and it became very scary for her. This landed her in the ER on a couple of occasions only to be sent home with "nothing" being wrong. However, about mid-late May she was suffering again from an attack with not being able to breathe and went yet again to the ER. This time the doctors were concerned with a slight irregularity with her heart. They told her to follow up with an ECHO and see her primary care physician (PCP). After the ECHO it was determined that heart look "good" and "better than most her age". This was a huge sigh of relief and we went about trying to get back to "normal" for all of us. Then a week or so later one of my sisters noticed that both her ankles were red and they were swollen and tight all the way up her shins. This was concern enough for yet another trip back to the ER where it was determined that she had developed cellulitis in both legs. She was then admitted for an entire week with IV antibiotics. While in the hospital she had a few tests run to determine any other health issues that would need to be addressed. Including an MRI because of possible concerns with her liver (which came back negative). However, upon her discharge to a nursing home for rehab, she was given paperwork not just on the cellulitis but also congestive heart failure. Mind you no doctor came in and told her she was diagnosed with that. This sent all of us into a frenzy of trying to figure out what is going on.
Since mom's hospital stay for the cellulitis, she has had 5 weeks of rehab in a nursing home that, in my opinion, didn't do their job very well. But you don't know what it's like to have 5 Arkwright siblings all up in arms over their mama!! Some of those we had an issue with, stood a bit taller when they saw all 5 of us walk in together!! The looks on some of their faces were priceless!! Let's just say that our concerns about her care were addressed and she was even moved to a room with french doors out into a courtyard! This helped greatly as her previous room was dark and depressing. During the 5 weeks in rehab, mom struggled greatly with anxiety. At one point she told us all that if this is what the rest of her life was going to be, she just wanted to die. She even had a dream that she was dying and said that it was SO peaceful and that she just wanted to feel that peace again. That was so hard to hear! But God is faithful! For me, personally, I just prayed and asked God to give me peace with the outcome...whatever that may be. There were even times during her 5 weeks in rehab that I just asked the Lord to take her. It was so hard to see this once joyful, optimistic person turn to depression and sadness all in what seemed like overnight. I didn't want to see my mom struggle. I too just wanted her to be at peace. And I still do. But I'm thankful that she is still here!! During her time in rehab, she continued to have breathing issues as well as some other issues that we saw as part of the CHF. But it kept being brushed off by the staff. The struggle was real let me tell you! So many details that I'm even leaving out. But suffice to say that if it were not for us kids looking out for our mama, she may not be here.
During the time from March until now, there have been several other issues that have arose. Late spring my second to oldest sister fell down her basement steps and broke 3 ribs and punctured a lung. This led to a weeks stay in the hospital followed by another week in rehab. As of today she still hasn't been cleared for driving privileges outside of her hometown. We also found out during the time that my dad was in the hospital in March that our sweet dog Cara has cancer and wasn't given much time left to live (though we are happy to say she is still with us and responding well to meds shes been on). Then my brother and his wife began having some marital issues and separated. During this time my brother moved into my mom's apartment and got adjusted to just stay with her once she got out of rehab. Then during a family reunion, our 80 year old father sprung it on us that he was leaving his wife of 30 years. He packed up what he could, brought it to the reunion, and decided he'd find somewhere to stay. This led him to staying with my middle sister at her apartment. About 4 days into their separation my stepmom apologized to my dad and this got my dad thinking. He wanted to go back and work at their relationship. This caused discord amongst us siblings as some did not agree with his decision while others felt it was his decision and his alone to make. This led to a very heated argument with my dad and one of my siblings. A blow-up if you will. Lines were crossed and tempers flared. This spilled over into a confrontation with all 4 of my other siblings (I thankfully was not present for this). Emotions were just running at an all-time high. Then just two days after the confrontations took place my dad and sister were having breakfast when he began to fall ill. He looked pale according to my sister and couldn't speak well. She immediately called 911. Daddy was rushed to the hospital where he was hooked up to an IV and had some oxygen. Shortly after he was taken off the oxygen but put in a 24 observation because his kidney function was not where the doctors wanted to see it. Two days in the hospital, two rounds of IV, and he was able to go home. It was determined that he was severally dehydrated. Being off his normal routine he wasn't keeping track of how much he was drinking like he should. I am so thankful it wasn't more serious. THEN...just 4 days after dad was released and my mom got word she was being released to go home from rehab, another call in the middle of the night. My mom wasn't able to breathe AGAIN. The nursing home sent her by ambulance to the hospital where the doctors determined that she had built up fluid all in her abdomen that needed to be removed ASAP. Because it was a slow night in the ER the doctors when ahead with the procedure right then and there. They drained nearly 9...NINE liters of fluid of my mom's abdomen! That's more than 2 GALLONS of fluid!!! The doctors in the ER couldn't understand why this hadn't been done before! This is clearly been in her for a while. No wonder she couldn't breathe! She went home that night 20 POUNDS lighter!! Needless to say, this has sent us into investigative mode. We are finding that there are a LOT of slips and oversights by the doctors this whole time with mom's care. We got her charts and medical paperwork all released and one of my siblings has been slowly sorting through it all. We intend at some point to take up with the hospital their mistakes and oversights. But for now our sights are on getting mom settled.
She's been home for almost a week now with my brother living there. She is there morning and afternoon alone but seems to be doing much better at home than she was in rehab. She's getting around quite well and has therapy a few times a week. She has Life Alert that keeps her secure if she needs help during those hours and can't reach one of us kids. This time is just an interim period as she is on a waiting list to move into an assisted living. I have my doubts and questions as to whether this is whats best for her. She still needs so much care. Though I'm happy shes able to do more now that shes at home. But I don't know that it's wise for her to be alone so much. She still needs help with every day things like getting her shoes on or showering. This is where my faith comes in. I have to trust that God has all the answers. That He alone is control. We are all doing what we can to help but ultimately it's in His hands.
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